


(Don't) Listen To Your Friends

by rainycakes



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Egobang - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Swearing, venting, well it's kinda lowkey egobang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 21:10:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7007008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainycakes/pseuds/rainycakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something's been on Dan's mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Don't) Listen To Your Friends

**Author's Note:**

> this is based on two things. the main thing was how I feel right now - what dan experiences in this little fic is how i feel. the fic itself and the title are based on "The Draw" by Bastille, there are even some lyrics from the song in it. anyways, this isn't much, it's kind of my way of venting.
> 
> enjoy this trash.

“Hey, Arin,” Dan said meekly from his cocoon of blankets. They had just finished recording five (or was it six? Dan couldn’t remember) episodes of a series. It was late; the clock was nearing midnight.

 

“Yes, Dan?” Arin responded, not looking up as he turned off the recording equipment.

 

 _‘Am I a burden? Are you better off without me...?’_ Dan wondered silently. That’s what he wanted to ask, but his mind held him back. He had been lingering on these kinds of thoughts for a while now, and he's come close to asking Arin these questions multiple times.

 

The keyword there is _close._

 

 _‘Don’t ask. You’ll just look like an attention whore,’_ A voice in his mind hissed bitterly. Dan sighed silently, agreeing with the negative voice.

 

“I… um… dammit. I forgot. Fuck,” Dan said with a chuckle. Arin studied his friend’s face for a second, momentarily not believing him. After a second, he gave in and laughed softly.

 

“I hate when that happens. Tell me if you remember,” Arin said with a smile. “Dude, it’s _late_. I mean, it’s not the latest we’ve stayed up recording grumps, you and I both know that, but it’s still kind of late,” Arin began, attempting to make casual conversation.

 

“Yeah, yeah it’s pretty late…” Dan trailed off. He hated when he got in moods like this. His mind told him bullshit, he believed it, and got in a depressed mood for a while. Though Arin has told Dan multiple times that he and the rest of the grumps loved him to death, Dan’s head wouldn’t let him believe that. For some reason, no matter how much reassurance he had, he couldn't bring himself to believe that people wanted him around. He often thought he was a burden to his friends — especially Arin — and they’d be better off without him.

 

Of course, he never actually told anyone any of that. He was too scared to talk about it; he feared scaring his friends off with his insecurities. So, instead of letting it out, he bottled it up and covered it with a smile.

 

Arin noticed the change in his friend’s voice. Dan sounded distant, and Arin was determined to find out what’s wrong.

 

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay, buddy?” Arin asked, looking Dan in the eye. He swore he saw fear flash across his friend’s dark eyes momentarily, but before he could look in detail, it was gone.

 

“Just tired, I guess,” Dan responded, but Arin wasn’t buying it.

 

“You know you can talk to me if something is up, right?” Arin asked, his voice softer than before.

 

Dan stopped for a moment. He was hopeful after hearing that, the good side of his head began to say, _‘Just listen to your friends. Trust the fair look in his eyes.’_

 

Alas, the other, more bitter voice in his head retaliated with, _‘Don’t listen to your friends, they only care once in a while.’_

 

Dan just shook his head. “I know, Big Cat, but I’m okay,” he said, attempting a reassuring smile. Arin wasn’t fooled, he could see straight through it.

 

“Dan, don’t give me bullshit. I can see something’s bothering you. Now, tell me what it is, or… or I’ll make you,” Arin said, a mischievous grin sprawling across his face. Dan raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

 

“Oh, really? And how will you do that?” Dan asked, a smile tugging at his own lips.

 

“A little bit like this,” Arin said slyly. As soon as the words left Arin's mouth, Dan’s phone went off.

 

 _'Perfect,'_ Arin thought. While Dan was distracted, Arin pounced, and as a result was practically straddling Dan. Dan stared up at him, blush creeping up his face. He barely had time to breathe before Arin began to tickle him.

 

Dan yelped in surprise, and let out loud, melodic laughter. A genuine smile replaced Arin’s mischievous grin as he listened to his friend’s laugh.

 

"Ar-arin! S-stop!" Dan shrieked between giggling fits. He attempted to push Arin off, but his feeble attempts made no impact on Arin.

 

“You better tell me, or I’ll keep tickling you!” Arin exclaimed. It reminded Dan of a five-year-old. Then again, the words _Arin_ and _five-year-old_ were practically synonymous.

 

“O-okay, fine! I giv-give up…!” Dan said desperately, trying to surrender between giggles. Arin chuckled and stopped tickling his friend. He climbed off of Dan and sat down in his original spot on the couch. He waited for Dan to sit up again and catch his breath.

 

“Alright. Spill,” Arin said, regaining a serious composure.

 

“I… Arin… I don’t want to bring you down…” Dan began, almost immediately regretting his decision.

 

“I don’t care if you do. I want to help you,” Arin said, looking Dan straight in the eye.

 

“Okay… fine. I know I probably shouldn’t feel like this, but I always feel like I’m a burden, or a nuisance, or just… insignificant. I feel like I’m not worthy of your friendship. Arin… you’re… you’re the best thing to ever happen to me and I just… I don’t know. I shouldn’t feel like this… people have awful situations but then there's me, feeling like shit for no reason. Anyways, I just feel like I don’t deserve the amazing life I have because of you. I'm not worth it,” Dan trailed off. He didn’t notice, but a few tears slipped down his face silently.

 

Arin, on the other hand, was taken aback. If anything, he felt like _he_ did not deserve the ray of sunshine that was Leigh Daniel Avidan.

 

“I… Danny, who told you that?” Arin asked, genuinely shocked.

 

“It just… occurred to me. It’s a thing my head does, and I hate it. My head tells me random, awful bullshit, and I start to believe it, and then I can't... _un-believe_ it. I never tell anyone about it because I feel like it’ll scare them away, or I’ll look like an attention whore, or _some_ shit like that. I don’t kn—“

 

Dan was cut off by an abrupt, tight hug. Arin had practically tackled him with a tight, yet comforting, hug. Arin rested his chin on Dan’s shoulder. Dan sat there, still surprised from the sudden hug. After a few seconds, Arin began to speak.

 

“Don’t ever, _ever_ , feel like that. There’s so many people that love you — goddammit, _I_ love you, so, _so_ much. You’ll never be a burden. If you feel like that… you need to tell me, so I can kick those thoughts out. I hate seeing you sad, so if there's anything I can do to help you, I'll do it. You can never scare me away — you’re stuck with me forever. I care about you, and want you to be alright."

 

After Arin’s monologue, he pulled back. He held Dan's face in his hands. “I care about you. Hell, I _fucking_ love you. Don't let anyone, not even yourself, tell you otherwise,” He said softly, smiling at his friend.

 

“Okay. I think I can try to believe that,” Dan said, a weak smile tugging at his lips. Arin leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on top of his friend’s head.

 

“Good. Don’t you ever, _ever_ forget it.”

**Author's Note:**

> drinking game - take a shot every time I refer to dan or arin as "his friend"


End file.
